Today I wish I was a star
 

To know where you are

To be your light guide through the dark night

Today I wish I was a singer
 

To tell you how important you are without moving a finger

To say ‘I love you’ in tears and follow the plan  

Today I wish I was a mother
 

To understand you more than your father

To be able to give you what you need

Today I wish I was an actress
 

To leave you and not getting lost in the darkness

To miss you and hiding it without a single tear

Today I wish I was for real
 

To tell you what I really feel

To show you what I fear the most

Today I wish I didn’t wish
 

Because it hurts to know you think I’m as insignificant as a fish

Because the pain is becoming unbearable even though you exist

Today I wish I was myself
 

To walk by you and look away

To smile at you and be happy anyway

Today I wish…

Tomorrow I will subsist.

I never know what to say

I don’t even know if I should say anything at all

It’s so hard to figure out what to be

And I’m so tired of trying to find a way to do it

Couldn’t I just close my eyes?

Couldn’t I just get through it without choosing?

I’m so young, but still…

Everybody expects something I can’t give

Everybody wants something I can’t find

Everybody has something to say about me…

Can’t they see that I’m trying?

Can’t they see that it hurts me?

Do they even care?

I know it’s easier to look and walk away

But I’m a human being and I need help

Is there anyone to listen to me?

Does anyone notice that I’m here?

I’m so confused about everything

I’m so tired of dealing with this

Maybe I should give up…

But is it fair?

Fair for who?

Me?

Them?

Why do I care?

There’s nothing else to do…

I just care about everything…

Even if it doesn’t matter…

Hello there. =]

I noticed that no one ever comments my livejournal and so I'm thinking about deleting it... what's the point to have one if you don't use it?! Anyway, I guess I won't do that for now because I'm totally in love with fanart challenges. Well... today was a slow day and I spent my afternoon drinking tea and looking at the TV... nothing good was on [as usual]. I'm so tired that I don't even know if I'm going to watch GA or Moonlight tonight... I need to sleep but I don't feel like it... it's boring. xD So I'm thinking about spending my lovely time doing fanart or writing fanfiction. I need to finish a Christmas one that there's another one messing around with my brain... I need to write everything down or I will just get insane. It's true, tomorrow I have to keep working on that stupid dance thing. Any ideas?! Okay...

Happy Thanksgiving to you all & have fun... because I'm bored to death. XD

xoxo

Teresa

Who sucks at Math? Is there any kind of group I can join?! Today I had a test and well… hum… I don’t even know how to describe it… it was… it totally… *thinks* Hell… it’s was TOO hard for someone who had just ran 10 minutes and spent one hour working on some sort of dance which is actually RIDICULOUS. My head was still spinning from all those exercises and, as my psychology teacher once told me, “White pages make me nervous”. I can’t deal with the stress but I better start working on it soon ‘cause I have exams and I need to keep myself focused. Maybe a cup of Christmas’ tea?! I bought TEA!!! OMG! I love tea!! Anyway, my sister is coming and so she’s going to spent 24 hours per day here so I will have to hit her on the head and make her faint if I wanna get online… sounds complicated and a bit dangerous… I guess I will wait for her to go to bed… around 3 am… URG. Having sisters is fun but if she’s older than you and studying to be a psychologist… *sighs*

Teresa: “Hey, you… I need the computer.”

Ana: “I’m studying…” She doesn’t even look at me… URG.

Teresa. “Hello?! Go study somewhere else!”

Ana: “Teresa…” She looks up at me. “Can yo…”

Teresa: “Whatever. Forget it. I will use the one downstairs.”

Ana. “But Teresa… I was gonna ask…”

Teresa: “Me. Leaving.”

Ana. “You’re mean.”

Teresa. “Watch me going.”

I’m tired of doing nothing and I have lots of things to do… hum… I feel like making some new icons… maybe… probably… yeah…

Well…

See ya when I see ya.

xoxo

Teresa

I’m freaking hating my computer for being so SLOW & for not allowing me to post anything in here for 4 weeks = 1 month. How did I survive?! I have no idea but it’s better for me if I stop thinking about it or something will fly and it’s not my chair for sure… Anyway, today was like the worst day EVER… school sucked as usual and I’m starting to give up on trying to be happy with the idea of going to see the same people every single DAY … I have been there for like 4 years… isn’t it enough?! URG… The only thing that makes me leave the bed every morning is my future plans on studying cinema or I would possibly hibernate for the rest of the year. I’m here looking at my beautiful black Sony screen while I try to find something to do. I tried fanart and it didn’t work; I tried writing and it did work but the result is kind of sad… I guess I’m going to try a video now as I’m starting to get desperate. But before that, Wanna see my new banners?! ^.~ 

Teasers:
1.


2.


3.

Do you remember the past?

Yes, the one you have been trying to forget for ages…

Yes, the one that just found you again.

Everything you were afraid is back…

Everything that made you cry is back...

What can you do?

There’s no place to hide…

There’s no one to help…

You’re alone and you’re scared.

Are you going to give up?

Are you going to act like nothing happened?

Are you going to be strong?

Are you going to survive?

I’m not…

It’s too much and I can’t take it.

It’s all I can say…

I give up.

----

I need help... I need to be strong... but how? I can't fight against this... not all over again... just no.

I don’t know what I’m going to do today. I hate when I have time to think about the stuff I have been trying to forget. I know it’s kind of stupid and even hard to understand but… sometimes I just feel like getting away from the worlds’ population and be alone. Not to think, not to scream, not to cry… I just like to be myself for a few moments and I’m pretty sure our society wouldn’t accept who I really am. Not because I’m too quiet or too ugly… just because I’m different. I never thought it would be that hard to be understood… to be free and to be what I was born to. It shouldn’t… but it is. Life can be so cruel and so painful… Why do we need to suffer? Why are we so materialistic? Why can’t we just follow our dreams and be happy? Those questions don’t let me sleep, don’t let me smile, don’t let me live… Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why do I have to different? I don’t know if I should be proud of myself… I’m not sure if I deserve whatever is coming on my way. Past, Present and Future… I can’t forget the past, I tend to overlook the present and so… how am I going to live the future? Wait… Do I have a future? I don’t want to feel what I’m feeling, I don’t want to hear what I’m hearing… but I don’t have a choice. It kills me inside… too much pain for a person like me… lonely but still surrounded by millions of others. Do they feel the same? How can I know? People are getting so quiet about what they really believe… they live each others’ lives and problems… just because they’re too afraid of looking inside and see what they are… who they are. It’s just so awkward… they all want to be happy but most of them think that they have to wait… they sit down on a chair and wait for the happiness to come and meet them there. I don’t want to wake them up from that sweet day dream but hey… since when do we get everything we want without fighting for it? I know it hurts and I know it makes us cry sometimes… but what about the good things? All those smiles, all those sunny days, all those laughs… didn’t it feel good? Isn’t it worth of it? I have no idea… maybe I should just keep thinking… Who cares? I’m too different and too like everybody else. I don’t like to feel empty… and I don’t like to hear the loud silence of my life.

DRESSES:

OMG. Did you guys see what I saw? Lisa Edelstein & Kate Walsh wearing amazing RED dresses. Red is definitely the new black… Lisa looked great as usual but I’m a little sad as I didn’t see her on stage. About Kate… God… she’s too funny. =P Most of the people looked great but there were some strange choices around the red carpet… sometimes I think they have a few difficulties on choosing their clothes… Don’t you think?! Well… no one is perfect [Thank GOD!].

SCHOOL:

I’m back… I don’t know what’s happening around my school but suddenly everybody seems to have found their voices… they stop to talk to me. I was SURPRISED! My math teacher is HILARIOUS but three hours later I was already tired. =P

That's ALL!

That's true. I'm happy to be back to my old self. =-] 

I have to thank my good friend Tannii for making that amazing header and for helping me with my LJ because I don't understand anything about this. It's like Japanese for me... >.< Oh well... I know how to post stuff but I need some lessons. Is there anyone interested? I can be a great student! *smiles* Ok.  Right now, I'm listening to the song "All good things." (or something like that) by Nelly Furtado. This song is a source of good memories... I sent it to EL and then we 'sang' it together. Our amazing parties... that I miss so much. It's a good song and it really makes sense... right? Her question is interesting... "Why do all good things come to an end?" I have been thinking about this question for a long time and my conclusion is really simple. We're the ones that end up with the good things... we tend to look at them as a curse and not as a miracle. We're afraid of being happy... that's what I think. We spend our life looking for it around the dark corners and when we finally find it... we let it go away. And, on that moment, I agree with my friend that once said : "People can be stupid!" Thanks Inês! You don't even know how much I agree with those 4 simple words. We're so stupid sometimes... For example, there are so many people dying of hunger and still, we think it's better to worry about who's going to vote in who. DUH! Wake up people... we're not alone... there's one big team called WORLD. We can't look at ourselves in the mirror and say: "What an amazing world I live in." because the truth is that OUR world may be perfect as it's only ours... there's no one else there and so there are no problems. The thing is... we can't live alone and we weren't born to live alone... Think about it. We need our nose and we have one... we need our eyes and we have two... we need our legs and we have two... We need people and that's why there are so many. Ok... I guess that it's enough of philosophical stuff. Thanks for reading! =P 

Some new fanart: